HATTIETUDES: Observation Without Judgment

HATTIE (one name only) is a living example that beauty, sexuality and spirituality are enhanced with age. A fit and fabulous Senior, she is a successful Holistic Life Coach specializing in Anti-Aging, Women's Empowerment and Sexuality. For Hattie's full bio click here.

For years I would look at people, places and things, always finding fault. I would zero in on details that I believed should be different and wondered why they didn't correspond to what I believed was the “right” way.

We often are told that age brings wisdom. Of course, with my obsession for being youthful, wisdom felt like a booby prize. Now, happily, that is no longer the case. It occurred to me that my style of seeing that things that should be done “my way” was robbing me of the opportunity to view life through the eyes of others.

Life is about making choices – from where we live, whom we choose as friends and loved ones, foods, interests, clothing... everything! I had always believed that giving people suggestions, and even criticizing them was a good way to help them. It never occurred to me that it lacked an appreciation of their choices and that's certainly a far cry from contributing to their lives.

I recently re­located to Anguilla. Being a tropical island, everyone does everything differently. There is no public transportation, movie theaters or places to go in the evenings other than hotel bars. Though I'm not religious, I might have wanted to attend holiday services to meet other Jewish people. Though the island has dozens of churches, mostly Methodist, there is no synagogue. Not having been taught to worship Jesus, it felt odd at the beginning, but their loving kindness made me feel like a welcome member of the congregation.

The wisdom granted me is that I now observe things and people without judgment. It took moving to a whole new culture to open my eyes and my heart and experience life like a child.

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