“I don’t believe there’s any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can’t completely ignore.”
― George Carlin

So, I’m crossing Broadway, a block north of Csnal Street. You know, that vast melting pot of traffic — of cars heading to and from the Holland Tunnel. The exit and entrance from and to New Jersey where cars move along trying to hit as many SoHo residents as possible. Police avoid any confrontations or waste time handing out tickets to this crowd. In fact, Traffic Agents will tell you,”Oh, we don’t give out tickets. That’s another unit. That’s a special operation.”

Keep in mind that I started writing about this 25 years ago. About crosswalks that are blocked by cars, vehicles that line up and prevent parents from crossing the street with carriages and 6 inches between bumpers.

So, anyway, the crosswalk was blocked by Spectrum trucks and I headed across Broadway about 30 feet south only to be met by a car speeding along in the Bus lane. He hit me and kept going until he was stopped by the Canal Street traffic. Once I got up I pulled out my phone and took a picture of the fleeng criminal.

A Hit and Run!

I called the police. Two mid-fifties women arrived and called an ambulance for me. And, then the interrogation began. Where was I going? Who was I? Why didn’t I cross at the green? Did I want an ambulance? Why was I in the Bus Lane? I looked at the two cops. Were they trying out a scene from Cagney & Lacey?

After pointing to the Spectrum trucks who were still blocking the crosswalks, I said “Where was I supposed to cross?” They didn’t like that confrontational question. Then, I asked, “Are you going to find out who hit me?” A short snort emanated from Cagney and then Lacey looked at her partner — at each other — and Cagney said, “You’ll have to talk to the Detectives about that. We’re just here to get the facts.?” Their eyes glazed over when I showed them the photo of the car that hit me. When I asked about accessing the various MTA and sundry Terrorism cameras all around us as they looked at each other and then turned to me with a blank look. “Oh, you’d have to get permission to access them.”

Shades of Jack Webb and Dragnet flashed before my eyes.

We agreed that I’d have to head over to the 1st Precinct and file a report. After a few more questions during which hostility seeped through from my interrogators, I was hoisted onto an ambulance. My right side and wrists were painful but I didn’t think anything was broken. And, after a joyful, bouncing ride to the replacement for St. Vincent’s Hospital on 12th Street – I headed home.

Believing the police, FBI, NCIS, and spy shows I watched on T.V. I began my investigation since the plate number wasn’t clear on the fleeing vehicle. And, to augment my rage over the lax, disinterested treatment pedestrians received in SoHo I also sent letters to our political representatives and to Community Board #2 and its Traffic Committee. I was on a mision.

At the 1st Precinct, where visitors receive a more hospitable welcome than at Trader Joe’s, I asked the civilian employee who handled inquiries if I could talk to the Detectives about finding the Hit and Run driver. She informed me that the Detectives could not be bothered with such a matter.

“They only meet with people if there’s a murder.”

After staring at her for a few seconds and viewing the potpourri of waiting complainants sitting beihind me in a daze, I left. There was, as yet, no murder to report. Only a Hit & Run in SoHo. Nothing new.

This began my adventure. I called and wrote to politicians: Assemblymember Glick, Senator Kavanaugh, Representative Nadler, Senator Schumer, the Chair of Community Board #2 and the Traffic Committee. Then I called and wrote to the MTA, Police Department,and FBI.

Nothing. No response other than — that I should file a FOIL request. Apparently, the T.V. shows were full of shit. There were no special units that could generate plate numbers to help victims locate perps.

DOT, Civil Rights Commission, Motor Vehicles, MTA, Small Claims Court, DHCR, HPD, Police Department, FBI, NYC Bar Association, Community Board, Loft Board, to name a few.

DeBlasio had reportedly hired over 300,000 city workers to support City agencies in assisting residents. And, the politicians ran on supporting SoHo, among other communities.

Just watch your ass. None of the agencies are here to help you in SoHo.

But I did get a $2,000 bill from the hospital for the ambulance which I hadn’t called — the police did. Now it’s in collections.

Stay Tuned.