“The Illegal we do immediately, the unconstitutional takes a little longer.”

— Henry Kissinger

Corruption is a funny thing.

In Manhattan, what is most obvious is the fact that no City agency performs as they are supposed to. The Building Department, for example, will show up if there’s a bribe. Landlords know this and count on it. While I could not even get an inspector on the phone, my landlord had no trouble at all hosting one and arranging to have a violation placed on my apartment — so that he could drag me into court costing me hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees. Using the Building Department and the courts to evict me and my family.

HPD, the agency that reviews and supposedly enforces housing laws, is a joke. They routinely sic their robot phone system on tenants who make complaints to call back — instead of showing up to issue violations. Violations are ignored by landlords because they are meaningless. Of course, those inspectors that do arrive, if they speak English, have already warned the landlords they are coming. I’ve witnessed payoffs. You’d think that contacting the police would be enough of a warning, right?

Well, after my last hit and run on Canal Street, the Wild West of downtown traffic locales, (in spite of the DOT, congestion pricing, the Community Board and useless BIDS) the police would be right on it. But, according to the clerk at the NYPD station, Detectives now only handle murders, not traffic accidents. My police report went nowhere — but I did get a bill from the hospital for the ambulance.

I made a complaint at the Fair Housing office about my apartment. They asked how much I was paying in rent and immediately lost interest. The fact that my building had no legally required ADA amenities and that the building purportedly was stolen in a criminal fog several years ago and that the entire family of the previous owner and several superintendents had mysteriously died seemed to be of no interest.

On Long Island, especially in Westhampton Beach, the new corruption Mecca of the Hamptons, things do work better. Especially, if you pay. If you’re a developer and know how to move things along. But, the Post office personnel are friendly and helpful, the bagels and owners at Goldberg’s are great, and CVS is efficient. However, the Village government is hostile, anti-business, and corrupt — unless you have green intentions. The former Mayor was clueless, incompetent, and disinterested — the current Mayor is a real estate broker — and the Trustees and ZBA all have their hands out — but deny it. That’s why there is a Village Attorney like Pasca, someone who routinely defames anyone who doesn’t play well or has not performed. Take a trip, look around, and wonder at all of the condos going up.

Yes, you’re right!

It’s the new Hamptons Mecca — where things DO work as in Manhattan — if you pay the price.